It's not easy to write about pain…

But I feel it is important to explore an aspect of the LEGO passion that many don't think about. In a series of articles, I will try to tell you about my personal journey expressed through LEGO and explore several topics related to my experiences as an AFOL.

To begin, I have a question. Is LEGO meant for fun alone? For some of us, it's only that—an enjoyable pastime, a way to entertain ourselves, or a way to relax after a taxing day. But LEGO can be so much more. For example, nostalgia can transport you in time to a simpler age, building sets from your childhood can be comforting when losing a sibling you often played with, or a single minifigure can remind you of a friend long gone. From the perspective of an artist, LEGO can be a new and exciting medium to explore, granting the freedom to express emotion.

For me, deep down, LEGO is the one thing that feels safe and uncomplicated in a complicated life. Building with LEGO has been a lifeline for me, and it has been a part of my therapy when dealing with difficult emotions and hardships in life. The LEGO hobby as a whole has also given me a new social world with friends and connections all over the world. By opening myself up and sharing my story, I hope to shine a light on many of us who use LEGO to simply cope and for comfort. If I may declare, you are not alone—the more I talk to other AFOLs, the more I learn of people with similar complex experiences. Sharing LEGO life tools seems to help, so here we go.

Let's start at the beginning. I didn't have any LEGO as a child. I was told that “LEGO was for boys” (which is totally wrong as we all know now)! I grew up, married, and now have two kids. I studied at university and worked within modeling business architectures, but after six years I went back to university and studied textile design and wool crafts.

The LEGO hobby found its way into my life largely due to my health issues. I've lived with chronic pain caused by Endometriosis and nerve damage for the past 20 years. Recently, I also found out that I have ADHD. My last pregnancy was traumatic and broke me. It's still not fine, but I am fighting and doing my best to start to live again. Within these traumatic episodes, I found LEGO started to become a way to cope with the pain. Somehow when those little bricks click perfectly into place, everything seems right in the world, if only for an instant.

I started buying LEGO for my oldest son and found that building together was a great way for me and him to find our way back to normalcy again. From there, it was a big step for me to buy LEGO for myself, alone. I started small and bought this phone (parts 4161pb01 and 6190 combined). For some reason, it spoke to me, and I love the medium green colour!

From there my life took an unexpected turn. A friend pushed me to start building my own creations. I now know he was a member of the local LUG (LEGO Users Group) in my area, and I’m so incredibly grateful he pushed me over the edge! I was shy and didn't believe in my ability at all. I built some small things but I mostly built them for myself and not to show publicly. How could I let people in to see something that meant so much to me?

My friend encouraged me, emboldened my confidence, and I started thinking. There was a show in Huskvarna, Sweden in the spring of 2018, and I wanted so bad to go and bring a custom build. The anxiety was overwhelming, but as I’m an “all-in type personality” (I’m not alone here, or am I?), I started to plan my first build.

But what could I build that represents me and my journey? How could I convey what the LEGO community meant to me? I have always loved escaping through reading, so I decided my first public build would be centered on that theme. “The Legend of Anendra” was born. I was new to SNOT techniques (Studs Not On Top), and there were times when I was SO frustrated with myself that I threw the book on the floor in frustration and went to bed crying. Sometimes it was just too much. From time to time, even my very supportive husband gave me some funny looks…

The pressure of an upcoming show did not help. My orders with the pieces I needed from LEGO took six weeks to deliver and finally arrived only four days before the show. I powered through the physical pain and just built, and somehow I finished in time. I thought it was OK, and several helpful AFOL friends messaged me and gave me tips on how to post it on Flickr.

The day I arrived at the show, The Brothers Brick had found my Flickr and posted about my build on their blog. I was also overwhelmed by the positive response and the warm welcome I got from the Swedish LUG and the highly active Swedish AFOL Facebook group. The intense building period had not been kind to my body and mind, and my pain level was through the roof. Still, I stood there with my build marvelling as visitors of all ages lit up when they saw it. Their enthusiasm gave so much energy back and overflowed my heart with warmth—especially when seemingly disinterested moms suddenly showed interest and talked about how maybe they could try to build something too.

The LEGO community was there for me to help me push through. I have found a home with the many wonderful members of the Swedish LUG Swebrick who are now friends for life. Based on my experience of joining the AFOL community, I would urge more to take that step. You don't have to build for shows, but please share all the wonderful things you create. Don't ever be ashamed of being an adult who loves LEGO. Find your part of the community that you feel safe in and happy to be a part of. Case in point, in the process of writing this article, I joined two “Ladies Only” Facebook groups who helped me and gave me the precious gift of reading this backstory and really looking at some of my LEGO builds. Being part of a community does something inside of me—in some part, it eases the suffering and gives me the energy to challenge myself more when I am building my next model.

So, what can you expect of me regarding articles on this amazing platform? I’d like to use my experiences to help create unique paths into the community and building LEGO. I want to share my stories about the benefits of using LEGO as therapy, building MOCs with a deeper meaning, using LEGO as art, being a female AFOL in a male-dominated hobby, and the joy of being a LEGO family. You might even get a sneak peek of an upcoming project this spring that relates to my therapeutic process. So come with me on this journey, and we can build up each other together.

(If you want to share your story that relates to any of these topics, please contact me on my Instagram @bluebuilder_lego.)

Has LEGO ever gotten you through a hard time? Have you used LEGO as a form of personal therapy? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.